Nicole Austin – Scandalous

{September 10, 2008}   Thursday Thirteen #68

Funny Country Sayings

I spent some time recently searching the internet for humorous sayings. Here are 13 of my favorites. A few of them may wind up in some of my books.

1. Only difference between a woman and a vulture is that a vulture circles at least once before it chews your ass out

2. If brains was dynamite, he wouldn’t have enough to blow his nose

3. if you’re lookin’ for sympathy it’s in the dictionary between shit and syphilis

4. He is so crooked when he dies they will have to screw him into the ground

5. He didn’t know if he should scratch his watch or wind his ass

6. I didn’t know whether to shit or go blind so I closed one eye and farted

7. Happier than a puppy with two peters

8. Boy, your family tree has no branches

9. That went over like a turd in a punch bowl

10. If you ain’t the lead dog the scenery never changes

11. I’m so poor if it took a nickel to get around the world I couldn’t get out of sight

12. We grew up so poor we went to Kentucky Fried Chicken to lick other people’s fingers

13. Boy, we’re gonna call you moon, cause you ain’t bright ’nuff to be a son.

Links to other Thursday Thirteens!

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here! The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!


Some funny and clever quotes there. Enjoyed them.

That was a great amount of fun. The vulture reference strikes home!

Lori says:

I thought I’d heard ’em all. Now, I know better (smile). Funny stuff.

#1 reminds me of my man…he’s told me many times I’ve chewed on his ass that all I can do is stand back and bark at the hole!

Happy Thirteening.

These are very fun. Have you read the Master and Commander series – Jack always gets the sayings messed up! 😉

Hope you are doing well!

These are pretty funny. some of them I like because they sound like they are from an old movie like frolicking bantering or something. Some quick talking character. I always wish I knew some lines like this for certain situations…come out sounding so tough and funny!

Hey have you checked out the new tv show Fringe? I ask because of your home page and your last post…

meanwhile here is my TT list for this week:

p.s. here is my TT list:

I use number 3 quite often. Fun list! Happy T13!

Lori says:

LMAO…thats some funny stuff right there….Happy TT:)

I love the list. I’ve been trying to do the final edits on a play, but I keep stealing stories from women’s lives. I think that’s what we do – “confiscate” ideas.

The Pink Flamingo

Bernie says:

What a great list. Number one is right on the mark – I know, I have been the willing victim of my lovely wife!

My TT is up here.

#3 is going into rotation

poppingbubbles says:

What a great list! Thanks for the giggle tonight.

Have a great TT!

I haven’t read the series Claudia, but I’ll definitely check it out.

The first episode of Fringe was riveting, Candy. Looks like its going to be a great show.

I’m glad you all are enjoying the list. I had fun searching them out.

Amy Jo says:

the scary thing is, I’ve actually said some of those things! LOL Great list!

Brenda ND says:

LOL! What fun jokes.

#3 has just entered my vernacular. Thank you! And thanks for visiting my TT.

she says:

#8 is vaguely true in my family! heh. my mom’s 1st cousins are my dad’s step brothers and sisters. so, we’re not blood related, but still!

fun tt! please visit mine!

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