Nicole Austin – Scandalous

{February 27, 2008}   Thursday Thirteen #44

Man Rules, Part II

Last week I gave you the first half, now here is part two of the “Man Rules”. Once again, I stress that I did not write these. They arrived in a email from a friend. I found some truth and humor in them and wanted to share. Enjoy!

We always hear “the rules” from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. Please note… these are all numbered “1″ ON PURPOSE! Don’t ask me the purpose. I wasn’t clued in on that but presume it means no one rule is more important than the others.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit – not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” We will act like nothing’s wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle, besides we know you will bring it up again later.

1. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine… Really.

1. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape — Round is a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don’t mind that? It’s like camping.

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Wani says:

My husband has told me some of those very things before! Huh, maybe I should listen to a few of them. Not all…. lets not go crazy, but a few. he he 😉

DirllerAA says:

These are wonderful and oh, too true. While I am probably more diplomatic than some men my age, I would affirm that you shouldn’t ask a question that you don’t really want the answer to. The truth is, if you’re looking for flattery, do something worthy of it.
However, as an architect, I do see in more than sixteen colors, I’m just not sure why mauve is necessary.

Ugh! I get it — why they’re all number one.

’cause men can’t bear to have anything NOT number one associated with them.

Happy TT, babe. RT draws near. Are you ready?

Mauve is so not necessary!

LOL! You may be right, Susan. I’m almost ready. Just have a few little things to finish up.

Laura says:

Those are fun to read again…and so definitely my husband, all the way through! Happy T-13!

Lesley says:

hehehe Those are terribly amusing. Although I think that men will take directions these days, but ONLY if it comes from an electronic device mounted on his dashboard. 😉

I have the desire to tell you to marry this guy – but I’m not sure why. Maybe he’s just honest, funny. I bet he’s great. That’s my hope at least! I’m sure he’s also well hung and hot too! 😉 (and reading?)

Happy TT!

Lori says:

LMAO….I only have one thing to say….YEP!! Thats what THEY WOULD think;) Happy TT.

Sometimes the little dears are wonderful, aren’t they?

The Pink Flamingo

Hyterical. I’ve hung out with mainly guys growing up and I’ve seen many many of these in action

Well, I missed Part I but these are hilarious! My personal favorite “Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.” This isn’t going to happen because I love the look the cutie gives me when I do this 🙂

Spot On rules. I will have to have this read by some chicks er women I know

Maria says:

Too funny!!! My hubby would add the rule, “All feminine-product shopping should be done as a side stop at Walgreens on your way home from work — not during our Sunday grocery shopping trip.”

LOL — Great TT!


Tasina says:

Oh wow – I have to keep my husband away from this list.

LA Day says:

Great list!
I discovered the answer to the directions dilemma. I bought my husband a GPS. Men will not ask directions but they do love to play with their toys-among other things!

Darla says:

These are so true–I definitely know better than to try to talk to my husband while the TV’s on, particularly during an action scene. The house could be on fire, and he wouldn’t hear it.

I do have him trained with the clothes thing, though–he’s very good at buying me clothes, and even shoes. It’s all about behavior modification. Just like Pavlov said–it’s just that the rewards a wee bit different with husbands. *ewg*

Xakara says:

Is that my header? That looks like my header. I’m so glad you liked my header 🙂

Oh, and the list was good too. *Grin*

Happy TT


I’ve seen this before but they still make me laugh.

Sarai says:

WOW I about split a gut. Very funny I read them to my husband and he insisted we tack them to the fridge so he doesn’t have to repeat them he can say “go look at the rules”

As a man, I really must say …

Harris says:

These are humorous…unfortunately, many of them are true!

Have a great one!

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