Nicole Austin – Scandalous

{February 20, 2008}   Thursday Thirteen #43

Man Rules, Part I. Let’s get this stright up front, I did not write these. I’m just posting what someone sent me. Men and women each have their own set of vastly different rules to live by. I’m not really sure if this helps understand them any better or makes it worse. LOL! The remaining 13 will go up next week. Enjoy!

We always hear “the rules” from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. Please note… these are all numbered “1” ON PURPOSE! Don’t ask me the purpose. I wasn’t clued in on that.

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports — It’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won’t dress like the Victoria’s Secret girls, don’t expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of them makes you sad or angry, then we meant the other one.

Links to other Thursday Thirteens!


Get the Thursday Thirteen code here! The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!


Flying Monkey says:

HAHAHA great list, I enjoyed it very much! Come check out the NASTIEST THING over on my blog!

Nicholas says:

Good list. And very true! Especially the toilet seat one. I never heard a man complain that the seat was left down, but I have frequently met women who haven’t realized that seats have hinges so you can move then up or down if you want to.

melanie says:

I have heard several of these. Have a great day!

Candy says:

This is funny. I think my husband would totally agree on all these! :o)

Those are so true, but for some reason also funny!

Crap. I just left a message for you on another blog… *sigh*

I think they’re all numbered 1 because to a man, they are all equal in importance — and to a woman, they are the #1 dumbest thing that could be said. 😀

Rachel C says:

Hey Nic,
Living with males only reinforces these ‘rules’. LOL Great post.
By the way I’m hoping you’ll join me in my first time. Tag! You’re it!
I’ve been tagged for the first time and you guessed it, I tagged you. Check out my blog to get a laugh a virgin and her first time.
Love ya!
P.S. Congrats on the contract!!!!

I’m glad y’all enjoyed the “man rules”.

Thanks a lot for tagging me, Rachel. Oh, and thanks for the congrats. This is book contract #13. WOOT! I never would have imagined it!

Malcolm says:

Everything on this list is all too true, which makes it even funnier. I really liked the one on sports. All most men want is to be left alone when there is a game. I don’t think there’s going to be a lot of men disrupting their wives/girlfriends when they are watching “Grey’s Anatomy”, “Extreme Makeover: Home Edition” or some other female-oriented show.

Your opening disclaimer in which you stated that you did not write these made me laugh. Smart move, because some people might have jumped all over you otherwise.

Well done! Book contract #13! Yippee!! This is a great list btw. I think every man I know would agree to each of these.

Congratulations again! Happy TT!

Rachel C says:

Lucky #13. Told you it was a done deal. Can’t wait to read it.

Xakara says:

This was hilarious and true. Although I happen to be with someone who doesn’t believe in the toliet seat rule. As the only guy growing up, the seat goes down period! Gotta love it when they come pre-trained 🙂


Lady Rose says:

LOL absolutely true

LA Day says:

LOL! I’m sure my husband would agree with most of these.


Happy TT.


jenty says:

Hee hee, that’s a very good list 🙂

Barb says:

These sayings are funnier each time you read them!

Thanks for the congrats, Rachel and Claudia!

Lara says:

These cracked me up! My boyfriend always tells me, if i want or need something, to create a multimedia laser show with neon lights and dancing girls with banners blocking his way to the garage, and then he just might get the hint!!
Oh, and many, many congrats on your book contract!!

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